


I'll Follow You

by MaxRev



Series: Shepard Appreciation 2017 [5]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Growing Old Together, M/M, Some angst, happy ever after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 21:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12920295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxRev/pseuds/MaxRev
Summary: Collapsed stars will leave their mark in one way or another - destruction or creation?





	I'll Follow You

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on Tumblr under a now deleted blog, in case it's familiar. I felt this fit the day’s theme perfectly. It takes place many long years after the war. I suppose you could say its bittersweet but this has a special place in my heart. The words (paraphrased) are from the song Wonderful Life by Alter Bridge, which inspired this.
> 
> These were all written for [ Shepard appreciation week ](https://itscommandershepard.tumblr.com/) for 2017 on Tumblr. This was for the prompt Black Holes/Neutron Stars.

It was amazing how fast life went by when you had the time to actually live it. To enjoy all the moments that made it worthwhile, to experience things you never dreamed would happen, to share in the company of someone your heart yearned for and loved with abandon.

There were times it was even a little terrifying at how quickly it sped by, faster than light.

Now, here they were, staring out over the English Bay together so many years later, almost all of Vancouver rebuilt. New generations were growing up around them never knowing a world at war. Life had a way of always moving onward, forgetting the misery and suffering of the past. The world that existed today had been shaped by that past. Still, sometimes those memories were better left forgotten, especially when they were brutal and painful.

Kaidan felt a hand reach for his and his mouth lifted up in a smile. Turning, his eyes noted the paper thin skin with prominent blue veins, covered in age spots, fingers gnarled and twisted by age and time. The results of a life filled with endless battles, hand molded around holding a weapon. Folding his own aged fingers around that hand, he looked up at rheumy blue eyes and felt his heart expand in love.

After all this time, that love never changed, never faded. His love for John would always be just as strong as it had been from the beginning – a forever love.

“I’m glad we’re here together, Kaidan.” The voice was weaker now and yet, to Kaidan, it was the same voice he’d heard that first day on the Normandy SR-1 when he’d met the XO with a larger-than-life reputation.

It belonged to a commander who yelled out orders in battle expecting to be obeyed without question, one who checked up on and got to know the crew under his command, one who whispered in Kaidan’s own ears all those late nights together, and much later, after the war, read stories to their children and grandchildren and now great-grandchildren.

“Me, too, John.”

He wondered if his voice sounded the same way to John. Both of them were hard of hearing, unsteady on their feet, eyesight not as sharp as it used to be. And yet, the deep love they had for each other never changed.

“It’s been a good ride.”

“It sure has…the best.”

John’s health had been declining rapidly, his own not far behind. Kaidan wondered sometimes if it was the toll of a being soldier, endless battles fraught with danger, so many deaths and decisions weighing them down. It hadn’t always been easy, all those years of living the life they had, but in the end, it had been well worth it to have lived that life together, always.

Their time on earth was waning fast. John was sick of being bed bound, tired of the smothering, even from Kaidan, as much as he was capable of it now. There were times Kaidan understood that and yet, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from doing what was as natural to him as breathing. The constant fussing, the coddling, and not being able to use the bathroom or bathe on his own anymore; how embarrassing for the Savior of the Galaxy. Kaidan himself took all of these changes in his abilities, or lack thereof, in stride…as he did most everything.

John had finally put his foot down, figuratively of course. Demanded to go sit out by the Bay and watch the sun rise over the waters. So, their youngest grandchild, Evie, had bundled both he and John up. She pushed John’s wheelchair while Kaidan walked ever so slowly by her side, cane in hand. A lawn chair was strapped across her shoulder and she’d set it up for him once they’d made it to the beach.

She’d made sure they were warm and comfortable, to the point John had shooed her away in frustration, garnering a smile. Then she’d walked away to meet her fiance. The two youngsters walked hand in hand further down the beach to give the older men a bit of privacy.

Gripping the frail hand in his a little tighter, never wanting to let go again, when he knew their end was so frightfully near, Kaidan huffed in laughter, “Guess we really are old soldiers now, huh?”

John laughed as well, until it turned into a racking cough. Kaidan’s heart seized in his chest until he heard the harsh cough slowly return to his love’s slower wheezing breath.

Those eyes twinkled at him despite being clouded by cataracts, “You might want to forgo the humor.”

“Yeah, that’s…probably a good idea.”

“I love you, Kaidan. I’m so grateful we got to live this life together.”

“I love you, too, John. It’s been the best kind of life, living it with you by my side.”

Silence fell once again but for them, it had never felt awkward, needing to be filled by meaningless words or actions.

Kaidan watched the colors light up the sky; a concert of colors starting with a prelude of tones in blues leading into purples, progressing to vivid pinks and ending in a crescendo of creamy yellows. He never failed to be awed at the beauty before him, the waves lapping quietly against the shore, a subtle accompaniment to the music in the sky.

Turning to see if John was as entranced as he was, he felt his heart stop in his chest. His husband’s head lay forward, chin to chest. Those beautiful blue eyes he’d gazed into for so long now were closed, his lined and weathered face relaxed and at peace.

Kaidan knew he was gone.  A tear slid down his cheek, traveling over the wrinkles and lines in his own face. Misty brown eyes drifted over the face of the man who had never truly left him behind. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a bit of white held loosely in John’s other hand. Kaidan carefully leaned over and grasped it. For several minutes, he continued to stare at the folded and well worn piece of paper, afraid to look. 

Opening it, he was just able to make out words written in John’s shaky hand through his tears. It was a favorite song of Evie’s. Kaidan read the words of the song, not quite complete.

Turning, he gazed at the man he’d spent the best part of his life with and smiled, knowing John’s last thought had been of him.

“I’m coming, John. Wait for me.”

* * *

Evie and her fiance, David Moreau, their walk on the beach over, found the two old soldiers still holding hands in their last moments. Reaching for the paper, Evie read the words, blurred by her own tears but a smile lighting up her face.

 

_What a wonderful life,_

_For as long as you’ve been at my side,_

_And I want you to know,_

_I loved you so…_

_And though our days come to an end,_

_Know I’ll never love like this again_

                  _John_


End file.
